Noisy neighbours, broken lifts and painfully slow Wi-Fi: here are 15 of the most annoying things that happen at hotels.
Ah, those crisp white sheets, the tempting minibar and the 24-hour room service: you’ve checked in and it’s officially time to live the high life. Unfortunately, it’s not always glitz and glam. Here’s a list of the frustrating hotel hassles you may encounter. How many of these have you had to deal with before?
1. The porter won’t leave until you have given him a tip
You haven’t got any change in the local currency yet and the porter is STILL in your room. So far he’s pointed out the toiletries in the bathroom, the complimentary slippers, demonstrated how to use the safe and now he’s tackling the TV remote. He’s certainly working for it, and there’s no way he’s leaving until you’ve given him his well-earned dosh. Get ready for a long demonstration of how to use the air-con unit…
2. Noisy neighbours
Hotel walls can be very thin, so there’s a chance you’ll be hearing both the good times and the bad times of your newly-nicknamed ‘neighbours from hell’. Whether their TV is on full blast, or you overhear them having a domestic, one thing’s for sure – you’ll soon be wishing you packed those ear plugs.
3. The lift stops at every floor on the way down
You’ve overslept and the breakfast buffet closes in ten minutes – nightmare. It’s all-inclusive so there’s no way you’re missing out on your ‘free grub’. Unfortunately, the lift doesn’t understand this predicament and frustratingly stops at every floor on the way down.
4. You pay for an expensive room and the view is awful
You’ve paid for a ‘sea view’ but unfortunately the only thing you ‘see’ is the concrete building across the road. The staff assure you that you can get a glimpse of the ocean if you look carefully. You soon realise they’re right – if someone holds on to your ankles whilst you lean over the balcony and contort your neck around the corner of the building.
‘Sometimes it feels like you need a degree in plumbing to figure out how to turn on a hotel shower’
5. Room service finishes early
You arrive at 11pm and know the hotel restaurant has closed already, but there’s one saviour – room service. As you salivate while reading through the menu’s juicy offerings, it’s only when you get to the back page that you notice those dreaded words: ‘room service hours: 6am – 10pm’ – painful.
6. Your keycard expires and you have to go back down to reception
Ah! Finally back to the room and ready for a good night’s sleep. Hold on, what’s that – a swipe and a red light? We’ve all had this frustrating episode where your keycard has lost its charge, so you need to go all the way back down to reception to get it fixed.
7. The maid walks in even though the ‘Do not Disturb’ sign is displayed
You’re enjoying a peaceful lie-in and the “do not disturb” sign is displayed, but suddenly you hear a rapid succession of knocks and the door creeping open at the same time. “Sorry, sorry!” Either the staff can’t read or they are just looking to catch you in a compromising position!
8. The lift is broken (when your room is on the 23rd floor)
You never pack lightly so are counting on the porter to save the day. To your horror, you soon discover there is no porter, the lift is out of order and you’re staying on the 23rd floor. Get ready to climb the hotel version of Everest.
9. The dodgy air-con unit
You’re swelteringly hot, but at least there’s air-con. Not so fast! The unit looks like it’s been sitting there since the 1970s and all it seems to be doing is coughing out mountains of dust and making enough noise to guarantee everyone a sleepless night.
10. Realising that people can see into your room
Always beware of city hotels that are surrounded by skyscrapers, especially in Manhattan (unfortunately this relates to personal experience). When you drop your towel after getting out of the shower, you may not realise that a business meeting is going on in the board room opposite. Oh the shame…
11. WiFi is slow and costs a fortune
You really need WiFi, so you’ve got no choice but to pay the extortionate equivalent of £5 an hour for internet access. The problem is, it’s so painfully slow that a carrier pigeon would deliver the message quicker.
12. Plug sockets in weird places
It would make sense to have a socket by the bed, right? No deal. You find yourself on all fours searching around the room to find the nearest socket only to find it hidden on the wall behind the armchair. Helpful.
13. The shower is impossible to figure out
Sometimes it feels like you need a degree in plumbing to figure out how to turn on a hotel shower. Firstly, it’s impossible to work out how to change the water from pouring out of the tap to the shower head. Then the temperature becomes obstacle number two. Either it’s boiling hot or freezing cold, there’s no middle ground.
14. Dim lighting
Why is it that there are half a dozen light switches but the room still resembles a dimly-lit cave once you’ve switched them all on? The desk lamp, the bedside lamps, the standing light, the porch light – they’re all on, but you still feel like you need a head torch to find the bathroom.
15. The day you check-out, there are extras on your bill
Having put up with all of the above, your stay is finished off in style when you get a bill under your door with minibar items you haven’t consumed and room service you didn’t order. Get ready for the inevitable argument at the front desk before you leave.